i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
