I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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