are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize