Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
