carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My feet surprised me
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