His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Michael Bay diarrhea
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i wish my penis had a tongue
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
