U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Someone came in the potted fern
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Can you repeat that, but with context?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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