talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
