Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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