Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
