cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
