ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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