dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
