There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
