I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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