well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
