sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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