this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
