She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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