yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
