Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
