3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
