is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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