direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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