there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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