u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
