I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
