): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
