I cockslap morals
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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