Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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