Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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