Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
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