Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
