I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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