Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize