I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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