I'm really into asian looking animals
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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