I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
