can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
