I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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