Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
