every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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