he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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