Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
