I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
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apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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