Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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