Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize