What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
