Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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