you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
