he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
