We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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