I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
