I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
