Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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