Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
