Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She said her name was "party"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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