You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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