you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.