the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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