I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.