In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
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Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
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What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.