I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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