I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
