I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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