And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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