16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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