Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
