she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
